Saturday, May 21, 2005

More Stupid People!!!

I work in a Computing Help Desk.

Thus it is the nature of my work that I get to "interface" with stupid people all day long. (In case you're stupid, and don't know why this is... think about it... what do you do when you have a problem? That's right, you ask someone for help. Smart people rarely do this... and when they do, it takes far less time to explain things to them.)

Observations I have made while at work:

  • Stupid people inevitably don't believe they are stupid. Not even if you tell them. Multiple times even.
  • Stupid people like to break things. It's what they do. And it's my job to fix them (the things, not the people... though sometimes I wonder). And it's apparently part of their character, or maybe they're just so proud of the effort they put into breaking them (because it takes effort, I assure you), that they feel they must resist all my efforts to fix what they broke.
  • Stupid people are stupid. Obviously... but the level to which they are stupid is, in some cases, appalling. Just when you think you have reached the heights (or depths, depending on your outlook) or what stupid can achieve... you are surprised with a new level that blows way past previous limits.
  • Stupid people often like to talk about other people they feel intellectually superior to. This is a perfect example of the proverbial pot calling the proverbial kettle proverbial black. Only it's not a proverb. Stupid people love to call other people stupid - no doubt because inherent in doing so is the implication that they are not stupid. Trust me, there's nothing better than seeing (and hearing) one stupid person, talking to another stupid person, about someone else that they both agree is stupider than both of them. If this weren't so mind-bogglingly depressing, it'd be hilarious.
This list is far from complete... but it's what I needed to get off my chest at the moment. I'm sure this will be a recurring theme here at AU1.

"Here I come to save the day!"

So I'm fixing someone's computer again...

This time it's not a family member's, so I can be a little harsher than I normally already am when I tell this "person" just what was wrong with their computer, what I had to do to fix it, and maybe what it will cost them. I'm not sure about that last part, I don't want to cause other problems later...

But I'll be damned if I don't feel a little Lewis Black rising up in my soul everytime I set about doing this... it's not like I'm a rocket scientist. I don't know everything there is to know about computers. I freely admit that. What I do know comes from me screwing around on them, and eventually taking some CompSci classes. But that hardly makes me an expert - I don't have any certs yet, and I may never go for them... what this is all leading up to is, HOW IN THE FUCK CAN PEOPLE BE SO STUPID!? When an Anti-virus program expires... UPDATE IT, or get one of the many free ones off the 'net (which is what I did, Avast! makes me proud to be Czech). And people... seriously... NEVER, EVER install programs that you see advertised in a pop-up. Those two pieces of advice would save otherwise intelligent people (sometimes, I'm really throwing that in to cover my family members :) ) lots of misspent time and effort. Or at least save me from it (which is arguably more important). But, alas, I know I'm preaching to the choir here.

Just in case a, shall we say, technologically-impaired person, has happened to stumble in here... I'll list what I do to computers I fix... (short of a format).

1.) Lavasoft's Ad-aware (get it, install it, run it nightly, and FUCKING UPDATE IT EACH TIME - it's worthless otherwise... sorry, pent up issue there)
2.) Avast! Anti-virus (it's FREE, get it, register it, let it work)
3.) Windows Update (because the broken computers always run Windows, don't they? :) )
4.) Mozilla Firefox (who uses IE anymore? Oh that's right, stupid people, and stupid web-site designers that can't code properly and force me to every-so-often use an insecure, piece of shit built by the same people that brought us ... oh fuck, that's another post entirely)

Friday, May 20, 2005

Invention #1

Automatic, Timer-assisted Plant Waterer
For use in Greenhouses/Outdoor Gardens

Purpose: Automates watering, allows for multiple watering schedules, maintains plant hydration when owner is away or unable to do so, and stabilizes growth of plants.

Required parts: One (1) programmable control unit, plastic hose, caps, 3-way hose joints, water distributers.

Design concept: A normal garden hose attaches to one end of the control unit. Hose leads from one of the control units four (4) outputs. The hose is led to the plants. At each plant the the hose is cut, a hose joint is attached, and the hose continues to the next plant. At each joint, a smaller hose leads to the base of the plant and the water distribution system. At the end of the hose, a cap is attached.

Use: The user programs the control unit's internal clock, and then sets the intervals (in days, from 1 to 14) at which water should come from each output. This allows the watering of plants on diverse schedules to be automated by the same machine. The control unit must be plugged in to an electrical source to operate, but will come with a battery to preserce user settings in the case of a power outage.

Additional information: By altering the size and variety of water distributers, the user is given choices concerning the level of water that comes at each water, and how evenly it is distributed (i.e. by soaker hose, or as a stream or mist). The default distributer shipped with the initial unit would allow for stream dispensing, with additional units available as separate purchases. The control unit must be robust and hardy, to allow for placement outside. Plastic Hose is preferred over metal piping for the following reasons: expense, ease of packaging, flexibility in placement, flexibility in changing position, and ease of construction. Additional hooks or fasteners can be sold to hide the plastic hosing under a table, or adhere it to the ground. The downside to plastic hosing is the additional resources and time required in making connections water-tight and in maintainence.

If you are a company with the wherewithal to construct, market, and sell this product, please be aware that this concept is the sole Intellectual Property of the owner of this blog. While I would be more than happy to work with, or sell this idea to a potential builder, I will react with all means possible to punish the theft of this idea, whether or not the result is profitable.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

it begins...

Howdy World!

Here we go...

Ok, I've just set this up - am still working out how I want everything to look, etc.

Eventually they'll be some real posts here :)