Is it a Goddamned full moon or something!? Holy fuck, stupid people stop fucking calling me.
Stop calling and telling me that something I have no control over is broken (when it isn't) and calling me stupid for not being able to wave a magic wand to get your head to extract itself from your ass.
I can't make you smart! I can't even make you not stupid!!
Stop calling me and expecting that sort of miracle! If the people you had as teachers couldn't do it, it's too fucking late. There's no hope. Go home and drink yourself into a dumb enough state that the gov't takes care of you. I'm not going to.
Fuck this... fuck getting verbally assualted by morons that can't fucking read instructions.
There has to be a full moon - that's the only nonrational explanation with mythical proportions big enough to umbrella this flood of idiots.
I wouldn't think it's such a widespread state of affairs if it was just me getting the calls - but it's everyone here. For the love of all that is technical... stupid people, just put down the shiny, blinking, button-laden object and step away. We can't deal with your calls anymore when you can't figure out how to TURN IT FUCKING ON.